Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
