There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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