It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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