jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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