He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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