drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He felt like a one man threesome
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.