Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?