You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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