When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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