I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
