You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize