i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He did a backflip because drugs
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