I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize