As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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