I will die if light touches me.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want to make out with him forever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
