I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I touched a dick in church today
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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