We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
