Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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