I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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