Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?