Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.