The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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