i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
