I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
