I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
