There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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