it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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