she smelled like a LAN party
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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