i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
