Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
