Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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