Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize