I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
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Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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