I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize