Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
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Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She bit a glass in half.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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