i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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