how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
