forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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