he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
