Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize