I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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