Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize