In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.