So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.