hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.