So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top