mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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