just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.