Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.