Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
