Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
