jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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