Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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