do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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