Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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